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I’ve been working with Sadie a lot lately with ‘school’ type stuff…learning ABCs, how to write her name, counting, knowing the planets, etc. Sometimes I feel like she’s so far behind her peers and it’s my duty as a Good Mother to make her a Little Einstein. Jax is always into learning and picks things up quickly. Sadie, on the other hand, turns a deaf ear to me every time I try to teach her something. She won’t even attempt to spell her name or write letters.
So this led me to get a book from the library recently entitled “What Your Preschooler Needs to Know” and the kindergarten version. It wasn’t too helpful. It just had poems and stories and things to teach your child and Sadie was not into it.
So instead I googled it and found several great articles. My favorite was by Alicia Bayer found found here. It’s like I finally found the words for my parenting style. This is exactly what I believe and how I function I’ve just never been able to explain it so clearly. Basically she says parents should worry less about their children knowing their ABCs and facts and instead focus on making sure their child knows that they are loved unconditionally, are safe, that childhood is magical, and that they are wonderful. She also said that children develop in their own ways and at their own pace, and that the smartest child in the class is not necessarily the happiest. Children should be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore. They should dig in the dirt, knead bread, play dress up, make messes with paint, and read, Read, READ! And most importantly kids need US – less lessons, TV, computers, and after school activities. What they need are listening, playful, interactive parents.
Also, I’ve always heard and believe that the biggest indicators of school success are
- A long attention span
- Good fine motor skills
- Listening skills
Those are actually Sadie’s strong points. Her fine motor developed before her gross motor and is excellent and she has the longest attention span. So, I think she’s going to be just fine.
Lately I’ve had almost a sense of urgency about teaching the kids more church lessons. I feel like this is the critical period for moral development rather than academic development. I’ve been trying to do more gospel lessons about things like getting answers to prayers, sharing, kindness, being respectful, being polite, serving each other, how to be happy, what makes us happy, who is Heavenly Father, how should we treat each other, loving ourselves, etc.
One other thing I’ve been working on is reducing their television watching. I’m not anti-TV, although, I am anti-commercials. My kids actually seem to learn a lot and pick up some great stuff from their shows. But, sometimes they just watch too much – you know, when you see that glazed over look in their eyes and they just seem overstimulated. That’s bad. So, we’re in TV-reduction mode.
Also, I haven’t raised very independent children, but I’m trying to let them find their own ways to entertain themselves. Oftentimes this means bigger messes but I’m trying to not flip out about those as much.
So, to summarize this is what I want to be doing with my kids:
- READING!!!
- This is actually their favorite thing to do and we do a lot of reading but I’ve become a little lax about it in recent months. Also, they misbehaved at the library once and we haven’t been back because of that incident. I guess it’s time to start going again and finding some quality reading material. This site has lots of great recommendations based on topics:
- Character Building
- Both in the day-to-day teaching moments and in more formal lessons teaching them to be kind, polite, honest, respectful, responsibility, showing and expressing gratitude, being a good sport, being gentle, patience, self-control (however you teach that) etc. Also, I’m trying to be a better example for them by praying with them and doing random acts of service.
- Experiencing New Things and Places and Playing
- Doing more crafts and activities with them and finding parks/places to visit. I think exploration and discovery are critical for developing little minds.
- Encourage Independence
- Specifically helping them learn to entertain themselves but also how to do age-appropriate chores and tasks themselves. Things might not get done as quickly, but I’m sure it will beneficial in the long run.
- Make learning FUN!
- I guess I need to be more tricky and make learning fun and not forced.
- Be Physically Active
- I’ve found that the more active we are the happier the kids are. Also, they focus when it’s time to focus and eat good meals and sleep well at night and seem healthy. I like to get them a good hour or two of active play a day. It doesn’t always happen, but we’re happier when it does.
I am a teacher at heart and I just can’t help but want to teach Sadie to read. I’ve been trying to subtly work it into our every day activities, though. When we’re coloring or playing with playdough or out on a walk I’m trying to casually bring up letters and point out the sounds in words. I have a friend who is great at preparing really fun lessons for her preschool age son. Some of the resources she uses are: http://www.education.com/
I still think it’s good to do academic learning activities but I’ve been forgetting my parenting philosophy lately and been feeling stressed about teaching Sadie her ABCs and guilty that she’s not further ahead. I’ve decided to focus on reading to her, exploring new places, discovering new things, playing independently, happiness, and love. With that said, I am a teacher at heart and I just can’t help but want to teach Sadie to read. I’ve been trying to subtly work it into our every day activities, though. When we’re coloring or playing with playdough or out on a walk I’m trying to casually bring up letters and point out the sounds in words.
I’ll do better.
