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I’ve hit that point in pregnancy where reality is starting to set in. It took a lot longer to happen in this pregnancy than the last. Do you know what I mean? It’s like all of a sudden I’ve realized this is FOR REAL and not just a nice dream. And now I need to figure out what I need to do to get ready for this life change.
Perhaps some people would say ‘nesting’ instincts are setting in, but I’m not sure that accurate because my understanding of nesting is that you are blessed with a huge surge of energy. The opposite could not be true for me — I feel lifeless. My house has never been messier, I take a nap pretty much every day now, and when I am awake I can barely muster up enough energy to do the bare minimum.
But now I also have the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind about how I need to be shopping, cleaning, organizing, reading, and researching in preparation for this new baby. The only thing I’ve purchased for him is a {really cute} pair of shoes that will fit him when he’s two and a darling newsboy hat. We do have Fisher’s {again, really cute} clothes that will fit him when he’s six or twelve months, but he’d have to go naked for the first six months of life if he was born tomorrow.
Does this make you nervous? It’s making me feel very nervous! Along with these other items:
- We don’t have a place for him to sleep. Are we going to stuff him in Sadie’s overcrowded room or convert the den?
- Will this baby nurse? Sadie never nursed ONCE, and consequently, I spent six months of my life ‘pumping’. I don’t want to nor do I think I could do that again. Is there anything I should or could do not to ensure a little more success?
- How can I make the transition for Sadie as seemless as possible?
- Should Sadie come to see us in the hospital or will that only upset her more?
- Is Ben going to stay with me at night or go to my parent’s house and stay with Sadie?
- I should probably buy a double stroller if I have any hope of leaving the house, but I have no clue which is best. I tend to research big purchases like that a lot.
- Sadie needs to move up to a ‘big girl’ bed. Will it be easier to do that now or just wait until we’re sleep deprived with a newborn and try to do it then?
- Will I go into labor naturally or be induced? Will the baby be breech or some other funny position {I’m worried about that this time for some reason}? Do I want an epidural (no), but will I be able to handle the pain? Several nurses and lactation consultants insisted after Sadie’s birth that women who get epidurals tend to have babies that won’t nurse.
- Will this baby be a happy and sleepy newborn, or have colic and other issues like Sadie?
I could go on but I won’t, because I’m just getting myself all worked up.
So, if anyone has any advice, recommendations, words of wisdom, or books you think I need to read please, oh please feel free to share.
My due date is in six weeks (June 10th), but I’m thinking this one may come a little early. My plan is to get everything prepared and squared away by the end of the month of May.
But today I’m going to do a different kind of preparation – a little spiritual preparation to jump start the month of May. Kimmy, Christy, and my Mom are going to watch Sadie so I can go to the temple. Then we may have to check out the outlet malls in Orlando to begin the temporal preparation 🙂
Joe - Lucky for you that you have a brother with all (most) of the answers:
If the house is listed for sale and the baby will be sleeping in your room at least until October then no need to worry now about where he will sleep after October just yet.
Way fun to think of Sadie in a bed but if you move you won’t want to move the bed and there probably isn’t a big need until the baby needs the crib which is still many months away so again plan on tackling Sadie’s bed about October time frame (you do have a bassinet, right? you could borrow ours for a few months).
Talk to Julie about nursing. The baby gets the ultimate decision but can be very much influenced. Talk to Kimmy if you want to be reminded about the importance. That was her favorite part of her family class last year.
Joseph was pretty old before we ever put him in a stroller so you can wait until October or so again for that decision. We had a double but we gave it away because it was too bulky.
Ben will spend the night with you at the hospital and Sadie will stay with mom, dad, and Kimmy. Of course Sadie will come see you in the hospital but probably after an hour or two of the baby being born and you both being cleaned up.
You must decide now if you are going natural or not. If you are “thinking about it” I promise you it won’t happen. Only you can make the decision if you want to do it or not. Talk to Julie about the hypnobirthing if you decide to do it. You could still get a crash course in it and practice some of the techniques. Don’t just go natural without having a plan and being prepared on how you are going to do it. You can’t just gut it out without some sort of plan in place.
Any other questions? Don’t know about his sleep patterns but this boy will be a jewel and you will be a great mother of two.
Lori - OK, Alicia. I couldn’t resist “putting your mind at ease” on a few issues. So, here goes…take it or leave it.
I found some more of Fisher’s clothes from when he was littler (I knew I put them in some closet, somewhere).
Fisher slept in his porta crib for the first 21 months of his life. I liked it. That way, he would sleep wherever we put him (I put him in our closet on more than one occasion.)(It’s OK, people that don’t know me…our closet is really big)
It’s OK to bottle feed. If he doesn’t nurse, he’ll eat out of a bottle. It’s as simple as that. Formulas are pretty high-tech these days.
Speaking of nursing, lactation specialists are weird, anyway. I mean the first thing they want to do upon entering the room, is make you completely naked from the waist up, and they don’t care who else is watching, either. I have known PLENTY of people who have had epidurals and have had no problems nursing. I am one of them. Now, if you want to be natural for natural’s sake, more power to ya! But don’t let the lactation lady make the call. She has way too much power, as it is!
If the stroller rolls, it works. Who cares what brand it is!!
As always, hope this was more helpful than hurtful!
Raven - Don’t worry, Alicia! You’ve raised Sadie and you’ll be wonderful with this new baby. Some thoughts:
-Ben should stay with you, I think. This is the only time you guys will probably have time alone with this new little one. Enjoy it!
-Sadie would probably like coming to the hospital. It might make it a little more concrete for her to see where he was born.
-Amelie nursed fine–had an epidural with her. Calder nursed fine–no epidural with him. There are always (in my experience) rough patches. Just keep working on it. Try to nurse a.s.a.p. after he’s born to get it going and try to nurse as often as possible in the hospital. Calder “nursed” (not that much was coming out at that point) basically as soon as he was born.
-If you want to try going natural, I would highly recommend hiring a doula. And deciding on some techniques you’d like to try–hypnosis, positions, etc. Email me if you want more info.
You’ll do great! Don’t worry! He’s lucky to have such a great mother 🙂
Johnson Family - I sent you an email with all some things to think about too!
chante - I agree with Joe; natural childbirth will probably not happen if you don’t have any plan in place. I did Bradley and had a super healthy pregnancy, but I felt like it gave me absolutely no preparation for what natural childbirth is really like. My midwife swears by Lamaze, because it teaches the best of other methods, too. And you can usually find a weekend class (friday night, all day saturday)… that would work with your due date timeline.
As for the double stroller, it really just depends on what you want to use it for. If it’s just for outings to the mall or park, there’s probably not a huge difference between brands. But personally, we love, love, love BOB strollers. They are pricey, but we have never regretted purchasing ours- we have a single & a double. I find all doubles to be bulky, and the double BOB is no exception… but you can take it anywhere- hiking, the beach, trails, or even just around the neighborhood, mall or park. But that’s us 🙂
One more tidbit from my own experience…. Sometimes you can do everything in your power to try for a specific outcome & it just doesn’t happen that way. The choice is ultimately beyond our control. But it doesn’t make you a bad mother or mean that you made the wrong choice somewhere along the way. And for the things that ARE in your power… just remember that none of the things you mentioned are questions that have “wrong” answers. No matter what happens or what you decide… you are an amazing mother, Alicia. Sadie and baby boy Johnson are blessed to have you!
KT - Your blog is so stinking cute and updated. You inspire me, my friend/second-cousin-through-marriage.
If you are set on no epidural, I’m with Raven. HIRE A DOULA. I had one and she made ALL the difference. Especially since Warren fell asleep.