|41 weeks pregnant (as of tomorrow).|
- Telling Jax, “It makes me sad when you make messes. Jax it makes me want to cry!” (Wonder where she’s heard that from?)
- Insisting that Kimmy rides elephants on her mission because she’s seen pictures of Ben riding elephants when he was on his mission in India.
- At dinner the other night my mom offered her tomatoes for her taco, Sadie’s reply: “No Mimi. But thank you very much for asking though.”
- She tells me all the time, “My baby is going to come out soon, Mom.” Me: “Oh good, Sade! Mine too!!”
- We were at the mall with my mom a few weeks ago and Sadie needed to use the restroom. My mom needed to go too and offered to take her. So, Sadie went first and then mom started going. Mom says Sadie said in her loudest voice, “Mimi, I can see your pee-pees!!” “I hear your poo-poos coming out, Mimi!” “Wow! You’re a good wiper, Mimi!”. My mom says she couldn’t contain her laughter and just said, “Well, thank you Sadie.” Too much information? Probably!
As for Ben, he’s tired in life. I know he is. He does so much. As soon as he gets home he is playing with the kids, getting them ready for bed, putting them in bed, picking up toys or doing something helpful. He is amazing! Most nights he is up at least once soothing and comforting a child, which is does extremely well, I might add. He offers to stretch my legs (restless leg syndrome), is always telling me to sit down and relax, and is willing to help in any way possible. Trust me, I know how lucky I am to have him!! He never complains, he always has a happy countenance, and the kids and I just can’t get enough of him. I wish I could do more to lighten his load but I feel like I am barely getting through the days and really rely heavily upon him at night. Anyways, he’s pretty much perfect.
Then there’s me – not so perfect!! I’m impatient, tired, uncomfortable, bulky, needy, and chubby.
I’m really trying my best to cope, but feel like I’m failing miserably. I go to bed every night and think, “Please let this be the night.” And, wake up every morning and think, “Ugh, still here! Heavenly Father pleasssse help me through this day!” Thankfully my mom has been extremely helpful. She comes up twice a week and helps with the kids and lets me take a nap. What would I ever do without her? Also, Christy visited last week and helped out tremendously. I definitely would have opted for an induction by now were it not for their help.
I feel like everyone is tired and struggling and the sooner we have this baby the sooner things will start to get back to normal. Well, the new normal. It will probably get harder before it gets easier, but right now I just feel stagnant and I’m ready to move forward. I’m so anxious to meet this baby, discover the gender, and get adjusted to life with three kids.
And yet, I’m also really nervous about handling the demands of three small children. To be honest, I’m downright scared. Surely things will fall into place, but right now I’m just worried about the logistics of it all. I asked an 18 year old/only member/new member in the ward if she would sit with me in church to help out with the kids. That was so hard for me to do! I hate having to ask for help – especially with the kids. I want to be the one to hold them, entertain them, and cope with problems. It is so awful for me to admit that I’m not going to be able to do it by myself. Well, what would probably happen is we would spend most of the time out in the halls and I know that would do a huge disservice to the kids. We only leave sacrament meetings when Jax has a huge meltdown and/or needs a nap (usually the two coincide) and that only happens every two months or so. And, as soon as he’s asleep we go straight back in. I really don’t want the older two kids to think sacrament meeting is a time to play in the halls or in the mother’s lounge….anyways, so I asked for help. We’ll see how it goes.
I can’t wait to have another baby! I can’t wait to inspect it’s cute little features! I can’t wait to see the kids reactions! I can’t wait to smell and kiss a delicious little newborn’s head! I can’t wait to find out the gender! And, I can’t wait to be a normal size and able to hug and hold my kids close again! And yet, waiting is all I’m able to do. And so we go on waiting….
So, there you have it. That’s the family update. I’m so, so, so grateful for the two healthy children we have and for my phenomenal husband who has never loved me more. I’m a very blessed person!