India and Maldives Vacation Index:

1. Introduction
2. Overview and Statistics
3. Zurich, Switzerland
4. Dehli and Agra
5. Jaipur
6. Hyderabad
7. Aurangabad/Mumbai
8. Making Peace with the Poverty
9. Quotes
10. Top 10 Favorite Things About India
11. Maldives & 11.5 Maldives with the Meyers
12. Top 10 Favorite Things About the Maldives
13. Paris
14. What We Would Have Done Differently & What We Did Right
15. Meanwhile, Back At Home…..

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Before going to India I had read stories from people saying how they wept when they realized how privileged and wealthy they were compared to the majority of the world’s population. I was expecting to have a slightly less dramatic experience but it never came.  My reaction was a little different and shaped by a few experiences and observations which I’ll share.

DIFFERENCE OF WANTS

On the first day in Agra I saw a teenage boy standing in the street with dusty clothes and no shoes.  I was feeling bad for him and imagined him to be financially deprived, and therefore, miserable.  Imagine my surprise when he pulled a pretty nice looking iPhone out of his pocket.  It was an interesting paradox.  My conclusion was that if the boy in the street can afford an iPhone he probably is choosing to not wear shoes rather than being unable to afford shoes.  I’m guessing he has enough to eat at lunch.  If he chooses to skip a meal to save money for an iPhone I say, “Good for him!”  I wish American teenagers had to work harder and make sacrifices for their toys.

Similarly, there was a guy at church in his early twenties who was asking me about photography.  I asked him what camera he used and he began telling me how much he loves his new Canon Mark D III – that’s a $3600 camera.  WOW! Intrigued I asked if the camera equipment was less expensive in India (maybe I could buy a new lens?) but he said it was the same and sometimes more.  I saw many Indians with fancy smart phones and iPads.  Interesting.

There was a difference of wants between Indians and Americans.  When Ben went to India in 2005 he did some micro finance surveys for his social entrepreneur teacher.  In one very small rural village he was asking a woman about indoor plumbing and she replied, “Even if you gave us indoor plumbing we wouldn’t use it.  We’re used to going in the fields.”

BEGGARS

Prior to our trip, I’d had a conversation with Ben about how he handled the beggars when he lived there. He said that they tried to carry snacks which they would hand out instead of money which we tried to do, too.  There were a few times, especially the first day when it was new and we didn’t have any snacks yet, that I ignored a few crippled people and I felt pretty awful.  After that I started asking the guides, drivers, and friends questions about the beggars.  Their answers were very helpful.

Pareek told us not to give money to children that beg.  He said that 15 years ago there was a lot more hunger and poverty in India and they didn’t have free education.  However, now there are programs to help feed the children and they have free educational opportunities.  (Is that true Robert and Anu?)  He said that by giving the children money you are hurting them, because their parents send them to beg instead of sending them to school.  If they come home with money every day they’ll continue being sent to beg.

On the flip said, Pareek said it was good to give money to the crippled beggars because there isn’t a program that takes care of them.  However, Ben said he’d been told previously it’s not good to give to them because some parents will disfigure and injure their children or themselves to have their needs taken care of.  He felt like there were better ways for them than begging in the street.  In the end, I think we just handled it on a case by case basis. There were times it felt right to share and there were other times something felt off.

For me it was hardest to see the women with babies begging.  The ones we gave snacks weren’t satisfied and would keep asking for money. One thing that gave me peace, though, was the babies were always a healthy size.  They never looked starved.  If someone had been anorexically thin, especially a child, I would have definitely taken more aggressive action.  I’m sure there are people who are starving there but of the women and children were always healthy sizes.

A HAPPY PEOPLE

Other than the beggars I never had an issue with the poverty in India.  I made a deliberate effort to look past the trash heaps and small, dilapidated homes.  What I saw was a citizenship of people that mostly seemed happy.  The parents carried their children, smiled at children, and talked sweetly to their children.  The people talked and laughed with each other in the streets. They weren’t rushed and rude and anxious.  They seemed curious and extremely intelligent.  They were creative and patient.  They weren’t burdened by the diseases of obesity, diabetes, depression, and heart disease.  (Although they do have lung issues because of the pollution).  The people do work very hard there, but I think it’s better to be a hard worker than a couch potato.

Also, as the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.  When they looked at me I didn’t want them to think I was feeling bad for them or comparing them to me and judging them as lacking. I wanted to see them for them without any comparison to me.  Our driver, Tara, mentioned that he was once a bus driver instead of a car driver.  He said it paid more but , “….afterwards I have no memories of the people.”  He chose a lesser paying profession because he found more happiness in it.  I really respected him for that.  In one of my fiance classes at BYU the teacher made a statement along the lines of, “True financial security lies not in having a lot but in needing a little.”  I valued the perspective I gained on prosperity.  Money doesn’t buy happiness. Money can’t fix poor health.  Money can’t create meaningful relationships.

I’m sure there are many people in India who do have hard, unfair lives and suffer with hunger and health problems. I’m not trying to minimize the problems that exist there.  But, it was my observation that the number of suffering people was far fewer than what I was expecting. I think I had erroneously assumed many people lacked things which they needed/wanted.

One day I’d like to go back and serve, but that’s not what this trip was about.  I wanted to experience India without being blinded by their problems.  Next trip I’ll think about the problems and try to be a small part of the solution.