Alicia & Ben » Blog

No Toys – Part 2

Here is my follow-up to putting the toys away so as to avoid having a messy house.  It ended up as a long list of how we spend our time, though.

We do still play with toys but usually just one bin at a time, or I’ll bring out one big toy for the day.  Some of the things we get out are the strollers, puzzles, animals, suitcases, tent, fort, baseball equipment, rocket, little people, stuffed animals, dress-up clothes, train tracks, blocks, lincoln logs, cars, and educational toys.  Because they only get to play with these things occasionally they get really excited and stay mostly focused when one of these toys is out.  It also makes clean-up pretty quick and easy.

One Saturday a few weeks ago the kids were pretty depressed about Ben going to work (see poor McKay below) so I got out their tent and the animals to perk them up.  That kept them entertained for most of the morning.  They took books in there, too.  It was a pretty big mess by the end but it was mostly contained to the one room and we all helped to clean it up. After a few hours we all cleaned it up and put the room back together.

One thing my kids are really into right now is art.  We usually spend an hour a day doing something art related.  They love stickers, glitter, band-aids, playdough, gluing things, painting things, coloring things, cutting things, drawing things, tracing things….you get the idea.  Art can be a little messy but Sadie knows if she doesn’t help clean it up that she won’t get to do it the next day.  She’s pretty cooperative but I still have to help her organize it all and usually I have to sweep or vacuum at the end.

McKay is really into these paper fish. He always pulls me over and says, “Fish!” and then holds his hands out to show me how big or little he wants it. He won’t let me make anything else – only fish!

Art at Ethan’s 🙂

One other thing we are doing more often is cooking together.  Last week we made apple pie.  This week we made chocolate chip cookies.  McKay usually sits on the counter when I make dinner, too.  He really loves to watch!  I talk to him about everything I’m doing.  He really listens and pays attention.  I’m pretty sure he’ll be a chef one day.  It’s probably his favorite part of the day.

In the late afternoon we tend to play in the backyard.  There are quite a few toys out there like the bike, car, trampoline, basketball hoop, chairs, blocks, roller coaster ramp thing, and their favorite….dirt.




That picture above reminds me that they love to bring their colored chairs inside and do “Family Home Evening” which we usually do as a family on Monday nights. So, even if it’s the middle of the day on a Thursday we do impromptu FHEs which consists of me telling a bible story, talking about a behavioral problem we’re having, memorizing a scripture or article of faith, singing a song, and saying prayers.  The kids absolutely eat it up!  Even McKay is usually good to sit and focus for a few minutes.  I should probably do it more because it’s very beneficial.  At the end they always say they need a family home evening treat.  Hmm….maybe that’s why they love it so much!?!?

When they get hyper we often have races from the front to the back door or jump on the trampoline.  Sometimes I let them make pillow piles and jump off the sofa.  We also go on walks around the block, but Sadie hates to do that (?) so I usually do that in the mornings when she’s at school.

Other random things that hold their attention include sidewalk chalk, wrapping presents (Sadie wraps ‘presents’ all the time!), bath time, playing on the touchpad, doing starfall online, and watching shows.

We also go out a lot – usually 3 afternoons a week.  That helps to break things up.  Oftentimes we go to the park, library, beach, mall, Mimi’s house, grocery store, Aquarium, TCBY, Ethan’s house, or meet Ben for lunch/dinner.  I try to take them somewhere new once a month.  This month we tried fishing….it was a disaster.  No one got hurt, but no one had fun either!

Meeting Ben at Chipotle for dinner.




Cruise ship that was departing by the Aquarium.



Picnic after preschool pick-up.


So, as for the challenges, I have two – TV watching and lack of independence.  In the mid-afternoon when McKay is napping Sadie and Jax just want to sit and watch shows.  It’s hard to get them to do anything.  In order to peal them away from the TV I read them books or initiate some type of activity.  Which leads me to my next point – everything we do usually involves me participating and often times I initiate, too.  Sadie and Jax are usually good to play independently when I get things out (except in the mid-afternoon), but it’s nearly impossible for McKay to do anything by himself.  Is that normal?  I just don’t know what normal is anymore.  I enjoy playing with them a lot of the time but there are times when I need a little space or need to be productive.  Also, sometimes I worry I’m crippling their creativity by being overly involved.  Thoughts?

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  • March 22, 2013 - 1:04 am

    Mary - Oh, Alicia, you’re not stifling their creativity! They are very creative! Just look at them when they are playing with their play-dough! Or when they have colored paper and scissors and crayons! Or when you just listen to them talk! ie Jax telling me you’re not moving to another house because this house isn’t broken! They are good kids, amazingly good – kind, creative, smart, funny, happy, and just SO SWEET you could eat them with a spoon!!! Of course that goes for ALL of my grandchildren!!! What can I say??? They are all just so special! And big part of the reason for that is how their parents are raising them. They all have GREAT parents!!! I truly LOVE to watch all of you “parent” your children in your own unique ways. And I wouldn’t worry about what “normal” is! Each family is unique and isn’t that great?!!! And everyone needs a little time of their own to do the other things that need to get done, like make dinner, etc. so if you need to let them watch a TV show, I wouldn’t feel at all bad about that. Don’t let articles about “motherhood” make you feel like to be the perfect mother it has to be done a certain way. Follow your own instincts. You are a GREAT MOM!!! Those kids are lucky to have you!!! And I’m lucky to have YOU as my daughter!!! I love you so much!!! Also, too many moms are not involved enough in their kids activities, so pat yourself on the back for being such a good mom!!! I know so much more now; I wish I could do it over again and I’d be a better mom.

    Love you to the moon!!!

    MomReplyCancel

  • March 22, 2013 - 1:09 am

    Mary - Alicia, that first picture of Ben holding (you said McKay) but isn’t he holding Jax????? Sure looks like Jax!ReplyCancel

    • March 26, 2013 - 5:52 pm

      alicia - That is, in fact, McKay. He has really grown lately. He loves his daddy!ReplyCancel

  • March 22, 2013 - 1:40 pm

    Raven - Thanks for sharing all this! I think it all sounds wonderful. You are doing great things! And being involved is super. I need to be more involved. And more creative. I always thought I’d be a really crafty artsy mom and right now it’s just not happening, but you’ve inspired me to try again. 🙂ReplyCancel

    • March 26, 2013 - 5:52 pm

      alicia - Thanks for your kind comment Raven! Hope you’re doing great!!!ReplyCancel

  • March 24, 2013 - 12:26 am

    Melory - I have a friend whose 6 children are grown & having children of their own. One of those children recently thanked my friend (her mother) for having daily quiet time alone in their rooms. This child said that it gave her some time to herself. She remembers day dreaming while hanging upside down off the bed or looking out the window and thinking and that this time is when she learned to love reading. My friend started the tradition out of desperation she had 6 children in a 9 years span. When the youngest children went down for a nap the older children would have quiet time giving my friend a chance to have her own quiet time. My friend’s daughter has instituted this tradition in her own family and though difficult to enforce at first expects it to pay dividends down the road. A clock with hands in a room helps even 4yr olds know when quiet time is over.ReplyCancel

    • March 26, 2013 - 5:52 pm

      alicia - Great idea! I gave it a try yesterday but didn’t go so well 🙂 Hopefully today’s quiet time will be a little more quiet. Once upon a time I did that with Sadie but I’ve gotten out of the habit in the last 6 months.ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2013 - 4:48 am

    desiree - love that picture of Jax watching the kids play bball. He sure is your little athlete. Thanks for the ideas and I loved the comments too. Good luck with quiet time.ReplyCancel

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