Grandma Doris’ Funeral

Ben’s sweet Grandma Doris passed away last week.  She was really a fun person – feisty about politics, opinionated about life, full of fun stories, and always busily engaged in good things.  We cherished our chats with her.  I felt like she genuinely loved me, and I’ve always adored her.  She and I were actually much closer than my own grandmother and I were.

Thankfully she passed in her own home and with much of her independence.  She had an excellent quality of life up until the end.  When we were out there in August she was still out gardening every morning, but throughout the last month she began deteriorating quickly.  I’m so happy she never had to experience the unpleasantries of being in an assisted living facility, confined to a wheel chair, or chronic pain.  Her passing happened peacefully, comfortably one morning with her daughters around her.  She knew it was her time and had been telling people, “Now don’t you pray for me to get better!”

It was bittersweet to hear the news.  I’m sad my children will never know her in this life, aside from the stories we’ll tell them.  I’m sad we won’t have our evening discussions with her during our trips to Utah.  I’m sad to lose her memories, stories, and perspective on life.  However,  I’m so happy that things went as smoothly as they did.  Surely she’s in a better place and free from the pain and hardships of this life.  She was a remarkable woman and I feel so blessed to be part of her family.  She will be missed but not forgotten.

Ben and I were both fortunate enough to go out for the funeral thanks to the generosity and kindness of my parents and Michael.  Tickets were $900 so my dad shared his US Airways points with Ben.  When Michael found out that I wasn’t going he gave me a free Southwest voucher and insisted I go, too.  My parents lovingly watched Sadie and Jax for us.  What would we ever do without family?!?!  I was so touched by their kindness.

It was a quick trip.  Saturday we flew in.  Sunday we had church and an extended family get together.  Monday was the funeral service.  Tuesday at 7AM we flew out.

Sunday morning:

Leaving for church:

Natalie cooking up Spaghetti sauce:

Villella family get together:

Monday was the day of the funeral.  Thirty-four of her thirty-six living grandchildren were there.  She already has nearly 80 great-grandchildren and that number is growing rapidly.  Interestingly, she was the single convert of a discouraged missionary in Minnesota.  That one life change has affected many hundreds of lives.

Her final resting place is a beautiful cemetery in Heber.  McKay was uncooperative so I wasn’t able to go to the cemetery for the dedicatory prayer.  Thanks Natalie for taking the pictures for me.  They’re beautiful!

Christy came up for the funeral and had some car troubles so we had to go to a mechanic afterwards.  It was great to spend a few hours with her and Maddy.

 

This is what McKay was like most of the trip:

He was so clingy, unsocial, and restless.  Except he was excellent on the plane rides.  Oh well.  At least he’s cute.

The evening preceding our departure we visited Grandma Doris’ house one last time.  I wanted to document  it since I’m sure my memory will fade.  It was hard to leave knowing next time we’re in Utah the home will belong to someone else.  It felt solemn to be sitting among her things and her life’s collections.  Her home reflected her priorities – the gospel, her family, genealogy, motivational quotes, and good books.  It was simple, organized, and meaningful.

As Cliffie and I were leaving we noticed a little plaque Grandma had hanging on her wall.  On it was written this poem:

“Others”
By Charles D. Meigs (written sometime between 1890 and 1902)

Lord help me live from day to day
In such a self-forgetful way
That even when I kneel to pray
My prayer shall be for – Others.

Help me in all the work I do
To ever be sincere and true
And know that all I do for you
Must needs be done for – Others.

Let “Self” be crucified and slain
And buried deep; and all in vain
May efforts be to rise again
Unless to live for – Others.

And when my work on earth is done
And my new work in heaven’s begun
May I forget the crown I’ve won
While thinking still of – Others.

Others, Lord, yes others
Let this my motto be
Help me to live for others
That I may live like Thee.